Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Making waves on Messenger:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Going viral on TikTok:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Live now on YouTube:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

23 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nickels were the original fidget spinners! 😂🪙

air, before, bored, boredom, cell, cell phone, entertainment, flip, game, nickel, nostalgia, old fashioned, over, pastime, phone, phones, public

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

2 months ago

dynamics, ever, friend, friends, friendship, friendship dynamics, group, guy, henchman, humor, less, male, male friend group, meet
I must retire to my chambers about this.

2 months ago

chamber, formal, formal language, humor, i, language, old fashioned, remark, retire, witty, witty remark
After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

5 months ago

actually, after, chore, cross, daily, daily life, dish, dishes, experience, household, household task, humor, i, life, list, lot, never, task, to-do, to-do list, washing, washing dish
I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

2 months ago

closed, early, eyes, good, humor, i, meeting, meetings, missing, morning, procrastination, skill, sleep
This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

5 months ago

after, clothes, family, household, humor, i, just, laundry, lot, nerve, sarcasm
“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

2 months ago

actually, cut, cut off, girl, God, humor, quick, relationships, self-respect, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

96 shares on Twitch this month:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Trending via Slack:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Spotted on Slack:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

I must retire to my chambers about this.

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨