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"Being single is like living in a world full of options…and yet feeling like you're stranded on a deserted island with only a soccer ball named Wilson for company. 🌴⚽️ #NoOne #SingleLife"

being, crazy, dating, fun, humor, mean, no one, relationship, single

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

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Making waves on Twitch:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

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Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

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Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

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Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

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Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

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