Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't hang out today! Too busy saving daylight… you know, superhero stuff! 💪🦸‍♂️ Don't worry, I'll be back before bedtime! ⏰😄"

busy, daylight, humor, procrastination, saving, saving daylight, time, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

0

2 months ago

clutter, health, humor, humor therapy, joke, mental, mental clutter, mental health, need, relaxation, relief, satire, stress, stress relief, therapy, thoughts, unwanted, vacuum
How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

0

2 months ago

1, author, bestseller, book, every, humor, new, New York Times, publishing, times, writing, york
Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

0

2 months ago

cool, everyday, fun, having, humor, job, routine, work
I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

0

2 months ago

activity, better, busy, dance, family, humor, i, kids, laughter, plotting, revenge, shake, Shakira, wish
Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

0

2 months ago

calling, dating, humor, love, rejection, relationship, sarcasm, situation, situationship, time, unrequited, unrequited love, want, whole
People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

0

2 months ago

bullet, catch, challenge, humor, joke, people, practice, skill, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

85 shares on X this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

96 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Freshly posted on X:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Trending via Facebook:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Breaking via Discord:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Live now on Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨