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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Making waves on Telegram:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Just landed via Discord:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Making waves on Twitch:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Shared recently on X:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Humorous text about being too busy to save daylight.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't hang out today! Too busy saving daylight… you know, superhero stuff! 💪🦸‍♂️ Don't worry, I'll be back before bedtime! ⏰😄"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

22 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No amount of daylight can save us.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Going viral on Telegram:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Going viral on Reddit:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Trending via Discord:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going viral on Reddit:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

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