Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Just landed via Slack:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Spotted on Twitch:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Breaking via Slack:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just landed via WeChat:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mind-blowing concept, right? 🤯 Who knew that silence could be so… educated? 🤔🤐

actually, communication, enough, honesty, humor, i, know, knowledge, opinion, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

2 weeks ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

0

2 months ago

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying
You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

0

2 months ago

adult, emptiness, empty, every, expectations, happiness, happy, humor, irony, life, mailbox, time
You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

0

2 months ago

crazy, emotion, fall, humor, humor in love, love, never, realization, realize, relationships, self-awareness
First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

0

2 months ago

blueprint, cringe, culture, evolution, humor, meme, meme culture, slang, social, social evolution, transformation
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

0

2 months ago

church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

23 shares on Slack this month:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Trending via Slack:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Just landed via Instagram:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Trending via Discord:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Trending via Threads:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨