Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Live now on Twitch:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Trending via TikTok:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Live now on Instagram:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ready to party… from the comfort of my favorite chair! 🪑😄

comfort, humor, invitation, invite, me, nowhere, party, seating, sit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

0

2 months ago

act, asking, being, better, dating, gender, gender role, humor, man, relationship, role, sarcasm, single
I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

0

2 months ago

away, chores, experience, feel, grocery, humor, i, kids, never, parenting, put, recovery, take, today, traumatic, traumatic experience
If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

0

2 months ago

divine, explain, God, humor, irony, love, religion, skepticism, snakes, us
This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

0

2 months ago

coming, convinced, cravings, digestion, food, gum, humor, humorously, humorously relatable, joke, relatable, stomach, stomachache
During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, cold, comparison, experience, feel, humor, men, much, pain, suffering, women
Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

0

2 months ago

age, generation, humor, i, kid, listen, media, old, older, profile, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

97 shares on X this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

91 shares on X this month:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

88 shares on Threads this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Going viral on Threads:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Making waves on WeChat:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just shared via Slack:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Trending via Reddit:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨