Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Spotted on Messenger:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Just landed via Slack:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Breaking via Slack:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about double-checking meanings before using big words, playful and humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to sound smart but secretly consulting my phone like it's the dictionary hotline 📞🤔😂"

big, big word, case, dictionary, every, Google, humor, i, internet, just, know, language, meaning, time, vocabulary, want, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

14 hours ago

ghost, humor, i, me, relationship, saved, self-awareness
Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

3 months ago

before, behavior, cannabis, hold, humor, i, joke, paranoia, recreational, scared, smoker, smokers, social, social behavior, stereotypes, store, weed
Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

2 weeks ago

building, carnage, chaos, event, humor, IKEA, imagine, team, team building, workplace
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

2 days ago

absurdity, celery, diet, food, humor, joke, pizza, vegetables, water
I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

2 weeks ago

excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win
I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

2 weeks ago

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

13 shares on X this month:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Going viral on Twitch:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Making waves on Telegram:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Live now on Threads:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Making waves on Reddit:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Seen just now on Discord:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨