Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Going viral on Instagram:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Spotted on Telegram:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Trending via Pinterest:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to sound smart but secretly consulting my phone like it's the dictionary hotline 📞🤔😂"

big, big word, case, dictionary, every, Google, humor, i, internet, just, know, language, meaning, time, vocabulary, want, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

0

2 months ago

comparison, everyone, humor, i, lifestyle, media, pictures, posting, relaxation, shopping, social, social media, vacation
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

0

2 months ago

bottle, gym, holder, i, just, put, saw, someone, treadmill, water
I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

0

2 months ago

business, business teacher, education, fat, humor, i, irony, own, pe, PE teacher, physical, physical education, scam, school, teacher, weight
Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

0

2 months ago

backfire, beans, consequences, eating, food, funny moment, humor, moment, surprise, thought
Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

0

2 months ago

door, housefly, humor, i, joke, leaving, low, open, pest, running, thanks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Shared recently on Discord:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Going viral on Slack:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Just landed via WeChat:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Going bananas on Slack:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Live now on WeChat:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨