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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Shared recently on X:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Spotted on Telegram:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Breaking via Reddit:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Trending via Telegram:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Just landed via Twitch:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Shared recently on X:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

0
Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like empathy has its limits when it comes to lending money, huh? 😂💸#FairWeatherEmpaths"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are too many neglected emojis.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Spotted on WeChat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

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