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Wow, you mean your eyes come with the premium upgrade pack? 🕶️✨ Who knew 20/20 vision was the ultimate life hack! 👀😂
179 Funny actually quotes
“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.
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Trying to juggle sanity and Netflix without dropping the popcorn 😂🍿🧠
I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.
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Is it cake? Or just a crunchy existential crisis? 🍚🎂😆
Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.
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Silent treatment: Level 100 achieved! 😂🤐💁♀️
It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.
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Getting older: more "meh" energy, less "why" energy 😂🤷♂️✨
Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.
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When you realize your bookshelf has more TBR than books you've actually read 📚🤔 #BookCollectorInDisguise
The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.
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Sounds like they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque! 🚀🛸🌌
Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”
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When your therapist says "find a support pet," and you take it way too literally 😂💍 #ProtectThePrecious
“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.
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Guess we're in a Hell Groundhog Day! Where's Bill Murray when you need him? 🔄🔥😅
Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.
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"Ah, the professional benchwarmers of life! 🛋️🙄 Why do when you can discuss?"