Commentary:
Running on stress and iced coffee is the new balanced diet! 🏃♀️☕️😅
179 Funny actually quotes
If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!
Commentary:
Channeling my inner crime scene investigator while scrubbing away! 🚿🕵️♂️🔪 Who knew bathroom cleaning could be such a thriller? 😄
I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.
Commentary:
When even autocorrect sides with me, you know my lyrics are the real deal 😂🎤 #LyricGenius
Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.
Commentary:
Studying would be my superpower, but I'd still forget where I put my cape! 📚🤓🦸♂️
I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.
Commentary:
If I remember your number, that's true love in the age of contacts and speed dial! 📞❤️😂
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.
Commentary:
When my inner voice decides to pick a fight, I end up giving the silent treatment to the air. 😤🗣️💭
When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.
Commentary:
Welcome to the world of stressy, depressy, lemon zesty, where lemons aren't just for squeezing! 🍋😂
Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’
Commentary:
Listening to legs: the ultimate way to make new friends… or get weird looks! 👂🦵😂
By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.
Commentary:
Looks like those LED bulbs have the same lifespan as my New Year's resolutions 😆💡🔧
I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.
Commentary:
Strangers: the surprise piñatas of perspective shifts 🎉🤔✨