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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Spotted on Slack:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Just landed via TikTok:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Trending via Pinterest:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Making waves on Reddit:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Funny bat quotes

Funny bat quotes 🦇 are the perfect mix of spooky and silly, guaranteed to make you chuckle! Whether you’re a night owl or just love these quirky creatures, get ready for some batty humor that will brighten your day 🌙😄. From winged wonders to fang-tastic puns, these laughs will have you hanging upside down with joy! 🎉🖤

New funny bat quotes 👇

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

0

2 months ago

balance, ball, bat, days, downs, fun, humor, life, perspective, sports, ups, ups and downs
Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

0

2 months ago

aging, bat, fun, getting, hanging, humor, morning, neck, neck pain, old, pain, sleep, upside, wake
Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

0

4 months ago

bat, bats, breakup, fear, humor, i, joke, million, reaction, relationship, sarcasm, second
Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

0

5 months ago

bat, bats, catharsis, feel, gothic, humor, imagination, manor, send, Transylvania, vampire
Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

0

5 months ago

72, 72 hours, ability, bat, bats, fasting, hours, humor, joke, superpower, whisper

All funny bat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

98 shares on X this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Trending via Twitch:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Just landed via Instagram:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

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