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Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Shared recently on Reddit:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Going viral on X:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Spotted on Threads:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Trending via Instagram:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Home » Funny Breakup Quotes » Page 3

57 Funny breakup quotes

More funny breakup quotes 👇

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

0

2 months ago

breakup, communication, ex, good, humor, i, me, miss, past, reception, reply, saying, sorry, technology, text, zero
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

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2 months ago

breakup, comedy, dating, ex, graph, humor, i, joke, past, relationships, sarcasm, why
Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

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2 months ago

breakup, comfort, every, hand, held, humor, relationship, sugar, support, through
No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

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2 months ago

breakup, embarrassment, gangsta, humor, last, me, relationship, relationships
Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

0

2 months ago

arts, breakup, humor, i, joke, katana, martial, martial arts, relationship, should, skill, skills, sorry, swordsmanship, think
The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, breakup, dating, downside, fun, hot, hot men, humor, joke, men, only, relationship, still
Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

0

2 months ago

being, breakup, dating, ex, forever, hot, humor, marriage, relationships, temporary, wife
Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

0

2 months ago

breaking, breakup, crazy, dating, digital, fine, humor, logging, logging out, me, Netflix, relationship, streaming, technology
Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

0

2 months ago

breakup, broke, congratulations, emotional, emotional support, enough, humor, know, me, needs, people, relationship, support, therapy
Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

0

2 months ago

bad, blocked, break up, breakup, gaming, Go, humor, me, Pokémon, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

81 shares on X this month:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

49 shares on Threads this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Live now on Reddit:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Breaking via Reddit:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Just shared via Reddit:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Going viral on Slack:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Live now on Telegram:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Trending via Pinterest:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Activity Log ✨

57 Funny breakup quotes

More funny breakup quotes 👇

All funny breakup quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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