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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Threads:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Just shared via X:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Making waves on Instagram:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Making waves on Instagram:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Trending via Instagram:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just shared via Threads:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Trending via YouTube:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Spotted on Pinterest:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Spotted on Messenger:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Funny calculator quotes

Funny calculator quotes πŸ€“πŸ“± are the perfect blend of math magic and humor! Whether you’re crunching numbers or just need a little laugh during study time, these witty sayings bring a spark of joy to every calculation. Get ready to add some fun to your equations and multiply the giggles β€” because math doesn’t have to be boring! πŸŽ‰βž•πŸ˜‚

New funny calculator quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny calculator quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

77 shares on X this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Living la vida taco!

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called β€œHappy Hour.”

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œQuit” is not in my vocabulary but β€œresign”, β€œdrop out”, and β€œgive up” are.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Gen Z will be like β€œOMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the β€œfor myself” is silent.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has downloaded:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has shared:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Messenger:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Seen just now on X:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Going viral on WeChat:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Live now on Facebook:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Breaking via WeChat:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

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