15 Funny calory quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew fast food could be so sneaky? 🍔🍟 It's like saying 'out of sight, out of mind, out of waistline'! 😂 #CaloriesDisappearFasterThanDriveThruOrders"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mysterious ways of pizza calories and midnight munchies 🕛🍕✨ Who knew our bodies had a built-in time-travel feature for guilt-free indulgence? Dietitians everywhere, probably."

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the dream of every food lover and couch potato alike – an immunity to calories! 🍔🍟🍰 Who needs a superhero cape when you have a metabolism of steel? 💪😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that math and starvation could be such a riot 🤓🍴! Counting calories: the ultimate multitasking experience for those looking to crunch numbers while hunger strikes! 🧮🍔 #MathNerd #HangryHilarity"

For even more funny calory quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny calory quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌