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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,832

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Live now on Twitch:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Just shared via Instagram:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Trending via Facebook:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Funny curtain quotes

Funny curtain quotes bring a splash of humor to your home decor 🎭🪟, turning ordinary window treatments into conversation starters! Whether you’re looking to brighten up your living room or add a quirky twist to your space, these witty sayings will have you chuckling every time you draw the curtains 😂✨. Get ready to see your windows in a whole new light—funny and fabulous! 🌟🪄

New funny curtain quotes 👇

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled
I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

0

2 months ago

asking, curtain, down to earth, Earth, expectations, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, over, relationship, shower, shower curtain, someone, touch, want
Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

0

2 months ago

blackout, blackout curtain, control, curtain, decision, humor, sleep, time
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

0

4 months ago

1, am, blackout, blackout curtain, confusion, curtain, curtains, dangerous, daytime, here, humor, indoor, night, outside, sleep, time

All funny curtain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

31 shares on Slack this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,080

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Going bananas on Slack:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Trending via YouTube:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just landed via TikTok:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Making waves on Threads:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

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