Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Commentary:
Well, zoinks! 🕵️‍♂️ It's like, "Jinkies, Velma! Another missing person? Let's not split up this time! 😂" Looks like Shaggy and Scooby's snacks might have distracted them from the real mysteries lurking in those haunted mansions! 🐕💨👻
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Commentary:
Looks like someone mistook "pet bed" for "people bed" and poor Goldie didn't stand a chance! 🐠💤 #SleepingWithTheFishes #FishOutOfWater
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Commentary:
"Talk about taking 'rest in peace' to a whole new level! 😅💀 Sounds like this person wasn't just checking the obituaries, they were checking them off their hit list! 🎯😂 #Savage"
6 months ago
Share →: If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Commentary:
"Remember, even in the spooky world of dating ghosts, always show some respect 👻🚫 Unless you're into haunting relationships, then go ahead and send a ghostly 'Boo!' 🎃😄 Just keep it ghostly chic, darling! 💁‍♂️💀"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Commentary:
Sounds like Google is the Grim Reaper of the Internet, ready to pronounce your doom with a single search! 😂💀 Better sleep tight before those search results haunt you all night long!
6 months ago
Share →: I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Commentary:
What a perfect way to passive-aggressively immortalize those who have burnt their bridges with you! 🔥💀 "Obitchuaries: The Ultimate Revenge Saga" – coming soon to a bookstore near you! 📖😂#SorryNotSorry #WriteThemOff
6 months ago
Share →: The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Commentary:
"Well, there's a clear distinction between a Lamborghini and a dead body – one is sleek and fast, while the other is, well, not so alive 🏎️💀 But hey, at least your garage isn't haunted by a Lambo ghost, right? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Commentary:
Well, that's quite the sobering thought! 🦖🦴 Guess it's tough to clap when you're extinct. Let's give a round of applause for the T-Rex's resilience in paleontological debates! 👏👏 #DinoHumor
6 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Commentary:
"Oh, what a dramatic exit strategy! 😂🕶️ Next time, maybe just go with the classic 'look the other way and pretend to be deeply engrossed in your phone' approach! 📱💁‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Commentary:
"Whenever I encounter such individuals, I can't help but wonder if they're powered by sheer determination or just running on empty 🐹🚫💭 #hamsterwheelstruggles"