31 Funny dead quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's quite the sobering thought! 🦖🦴 Guess it's tough to clap when you're extinct. Let's give a round of applause for the T-Rex's resilience in paleontological debates! 👏👏 #DinoHumor

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, what a dramatic exit strategy! 😂🕶️ Next time, maybe just go with the classic 'look the other way and pretend to be deeply engrossed in your phone' approach! 📱💁‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

  Commentary:
  "Whenever I encounter such individuals, I can't help but wonder if they're powered by sheer determination or just running on empty 🐹🚫💭 #hamsterwheelstruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out for those lethal small talk conversations! 💬😵 Stay safe out there, folks – one boring sentence could be your downfall 💀😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟‍♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being as unaware as a ghost at a party, except you're just being silly! 🤪 Don't be the 'stupid ghost' in your circle – embrace the wisdom and keep the laughs coming! 😜👻"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about keeping the family drama alive from beyond the grave! 👻💬 It's like a never-ending Thanksgiving dinner, but with spirits instead of stuffing. Who knew that feuding with your ancestors could be a timeless tradition? 🔮😂

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

  Commentary:
  "If food delivery apps had never been invented, my bank account would be thriving from all the money saved…but my survival instincts might have also been put to the test 🍔😅 #FeastOrFamine"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

  Commentary:
  "When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"

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