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New funny quotes: 10 this month

15,835 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 19, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

55 Funny dead quotes

Funny dead quotes bring a humorous twist to the afterlife, reminding us that even the great beyond can have a chuckle or two! 💀🤣 Dive into a world where laughter never dies and wit keeps the spirits high. From witty epitaphs to cheeky musings on mortality, these quips ensure that humor transcends even life’s final curtain call. Ready to tickle your funny bone from beyond the grave? 👻✨

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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