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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

2 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Making waves on Threads:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Trending via Slack:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Breaking via Discord:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They’re making me do work at work.

Making waves on Slack:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Trending via WeChat:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Home » Funny Detective Quotes

Funny detective quotes

Funny detective quotes 🕵️‍♂️💬 add a twist of humor to the mysterious world of crime-solving! Whether it’s clever wordplay or witty observations, these gems make sleuthing feel less serious and way more entertaining. Ready to crack a smile while unraveling the clues? Get ready for some laughs that even Sherlock would appreciate! 😂🔍✨

New funny detective quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Commentary:
"With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Commentary:
🚂 All aboard the Murder Mystery Express! 🔍🕵️‍♂️ Who needs regular hobbies when you can live out your Hercule Poirot dreams, right? Just imagine solving crimes in style with a cup of tea in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other. All eyes on you, detective extraordinaire! 🕵️‍♀️🚂
6 months ago
Share →: I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️ "Who knew a trench coat could summon your inner detective vibes so effortlessly? Just channel your inner Sherlock Holmes next time you wear it! 🔍🔦 #UndercoverFashionista"
6 months ago
Share →: Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Commentary:
"Ah, coding, where you play both the hero and the villain in a never-ending saga of bugs and breakpoints! 🕵️‍♂️💻 Stay calm, keep talking to yourself, and remember, it's not a bug, it's a feature in disguise! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Commentary:
Trying to debug your code feels like trying to solve a mystery where you're the culprit who left a trail of breadcrumbs – and those breadcrumbs happen to be a bit clueless! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Who knew being an investigator and a suspect at the same time could be so entertaining and frustrating? #ProgrammerLife

For even more funny detective quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny detective quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

2 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Just shared via TikTok:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Just shared via Messenger:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Broadcasted on X:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Going viral on Reddit:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Going viral on TikTok:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Reported on X:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

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