Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Going viral on Slack:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Freshly posted on Slack:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Trending via TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Funny DIY quotes

Funny DIY quotes bring a splash of humor to every crafty adventure 🎨😂 Whether you’re a glue gun guru or a paint-splattered pro, these witty sayings add extra sparkle ✨ to your projects and keep the creativity flowing. Perfect for sharing, laughing, and embracing all the perfectly imperfect moments in your handmade journey 🛠️🤣 Ready to get inspired and giggle along the way? Let’s dive into some seriously silly DIY vibes! 🎉🖌️

New funny DIY quotes 👇

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

2 months ago

activity, beat, DIY, fun, fun activity, humor, music, myself, neighbor, practice, teaching, ukulele, wall
If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

2 months ago

bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

2 months ago

absurdity, car, creativity, crochet, DIY, going, humor, i, myself, new, steel, steel wool, wool
I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

2 months ago

am, biweekly, biweekly pay, cooking, DIY, financial, financial struggle, food, humor, i, paper, paper towel, pay, quesadilla, second, struggle, today, towel, week
IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

3 months ago

assembly, DIY, frustration, furniture, glossary, humor, IKEA, instructions, swear, swear word, Swedish, word, words
Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

3 months ago

DIY, every, floor, humor, i, loose, maintenance, odd, screw, think, thoughts, time
I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

3 months ago

depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy

All funny DIY quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

14 shares on Threads this month:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

21 shares on X this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Just landed via Instagram:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Just shared via Facebook:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Live now on Messenger:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Making waves on Telegram:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

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