Commentary:
Sounds like my new dating strategy: just take a really hard nap! 😴💤
154 Funny enough quotes
I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.
Commentary:
Heat me up and let's hope I don't explode like last time! 🔥😅🍽️
Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?
Commentary:
Trying to finish a bottle of Worcestershire sauce is like playing a video game on expert level 🎮🕵️♂️🥫
An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.
Commentary:
Looks like my clothes are in the middle of their self-cleaning cycle 🧺🧹✨
Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, throw them away and grab some salted butter instead! 🧈😄
Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.
Commentary:
When you realize your crypto investment is the financial version of "I can't believe it's not butter!" 🧈😂🚀
Think that’s enough todaying for today.
Commentary:
When you reach peak 'todaying' and your couch starts calling your name 😅🛋️🔔
Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.
Commentary:
Overthinking is like the never-ending buffet of thoughts — all you can think, forever! 🤔🍝🥲
I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.
Commentary:
When you realize even FIFA has better plot twists than a soap opera 😂⚽🔄
Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.
Commentary:
If Netflix had its way, they'd charge each of my personalities for their own subscription 😂🍿💸