Commentary:
"Trying to exist online without getting offended is like playing dodgeball with a brick wall! 😂💻🚧"
258 Funny even quotes
“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.
Commentary:
"Poor 'rofl,' rolled away into the sunset, while 'lmao' is still laughing his… assets off! 😂🤣 #RIPROFL"
Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.
Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.
Commentary:
"When I finally remember to reply, I'm basically sending a message from the Paleolithic era. 📜😂🦖"
I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”
…
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just sigh and go, 'Why am I not surprised, citrus?' 🍋🤷♂️😆"
Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.
…
Commentary:
"Wine: the only fitness plan where every glass makes your inner model emerge 🍷💃✨"
I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.
Commentary:
"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow… or next week… or, eh, maybe never? 😅⏳ #ProLevelProcrastination"
Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.
Commentary:
"Boyfriends: the seasonal flu 🤧. Reply guys: that one indestructible cockroach 🪳😂."
The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.
Commentary:
🦁 "When you're the king of the jungle, a little sprinkle is just extra seasoning! 👑💦"
I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.
Commentary:
"Guess I'd have to walk the plank of shame, Captain Calm is off-duty! ⚓️😅 #LandlubberLife"