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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Just landed via Discord:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Just shared via Reddit:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Live now on Telegram:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Seen just now on Discord:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Spotted on Discord:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Just landed via YouTube:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Funny fictional quotes

Funny fictional quotes are the perfect blend of wit, imagination, and 😂 moments that brighten your day! Whether from quirky characters or unexpected plot twists, these gems bring laughter and cleverness in one bite-sized package 📚✨. Ready to dive into a world where humor meets fantasy? Let’s explore some hilarious lines that make fiction feel even more fun! 🎉😄

New funny fictional quotes 👇

All funny fictional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on X:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Going viral on TikTok:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Spotted on Slack:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Breaking via Discord:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

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