Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Just shared via Threads:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Going viral on Twitch:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going viral on Threads:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Spotted on X:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Funny glitch quotes

Funny glitch quotes 🤖✨ are the perfect way to laugh off those unexpected tech hiccups! Whether your screen freezes or your game bugs out, these quirky sayings turn digital chaos into comedy gold 😂🎮. Get ready to smile through the glitches and embrace the hilarious side of tech troubles! 💻💥 #TechLaughs #GlitchLife

New funny glitch quotes 👇

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

3 weeks ago

app, app glitch, awkward, awkward moment, call, calling, enough, experience, Facetime, fail, funny incident, glitch, happen, i, incident, moment, much, page, reservation, restaurant, restaurants, started, stress, technology, technology fail, user, user experience, want
The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

3 weeks ago

dental, dental extraction, extraction, forgot, glitch, God, humor, idea, just, modern, modern technology, patch, pull, random, technology, teeth, tooth, wisdom, wisdom tooth
Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

1 month ago

call, cause, definitely, glitch, humor, me, mess, system, technology

All funny glitch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

32 shares on X this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Tested positive for being single af

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Going viral on Threads:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Going bananas on Slack:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Going bananas on Discord:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Spotted on Slack:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

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