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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Seen just now on Slack:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Spotted on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Just shared via X:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Just shared via Slack:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I disagree with my politics.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

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Funny graduation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Freshly posted on Slack:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Just landed via Instagram:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Trending via Discord:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

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