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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Just shared via Discord:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Spotted on Messenger:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Seen just now on Discord:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Spotted on Slack:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Making waves on Instagram:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Just shared via Telegram:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Reported on Threads:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Just shared via Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Shared recently on Threads:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

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