Commentary:
Living the dream: off-grid, but still online! 🌲📶😂
14856 Funny humor quotes
I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.
Commentary:
While we wait for "healthy" vape donuts to be a thing… 🍩🚬🤣
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.
Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.
Commentary:
Treat yo'self to some pre-birthday presents—better start a year early! 🎈🎉🛍️
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're on the cutting edge of creating new muscle groups! 💪🤔🌀
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.
Commentary:
Laughing through life like it's my cardio workout 😂💪
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.
Commentary:
He might be hot enough to melt ice, but he definitely needs a GPS to find the punchline 😂🔥
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.
Commentary:
When someone asks about my weekend plans: 🎩✨ I'm not just mysterious, I'm a whole enigma wrapped in a riddle, sprinkled with confusion! 🤔🌀
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.
Commentary:
Actively avoiding stress, one nap at a time! 😴✌️
I drive like I’m immortal.
Commentary:
Driving like you're in a video game, where's the restart button? 🚗💥😄