Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Reported on Telegram:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Freshly posted on X:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Spotted on X:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Making waves on WeChat:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Making waves on Threads:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Trending via Slack:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Trending via TikTok:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Trending via Discord:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Shared recently on X:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Spotted on Discord:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Just landed via Instagram:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

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