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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Going viral on Threads:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Freshly posted on X:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Just landed via Reddit:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

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23 Funny journey quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Reported on Instagram:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Going viral on YouTube:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Seen just now on Threads:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Just landed via TikTok:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Reported on Reddit:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

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