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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Going viral on WeChat:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Live now on Discord:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Just shared via TikTok:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

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Funny judging quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Going viral on Facebook:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Making waves on Messenger:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Seen just now on Discord:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Spotted on Reddit:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Trending via LinkedIn:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

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