220 funny kids quotes - Page 6 - Wordgag

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

May 19, 2026

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

May 19, 2026

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

May 18, 2026

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

May 18, 2026

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

May 18, 2026

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Apr 1, 2026

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Apr 1, 2026

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Apr 1, 2026

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Apr 1, 2026

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Apr 1, 2026

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Apr 1, 2026

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Apr 1, 2026

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Apr 1, 2026

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Apr 1, 2026

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Apr 1, 2026

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Apr 1, 2026

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Apr 1, 2026

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Apr 1, 2026

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Apr 1, 2026

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Apr 1, 2026