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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Spotted on Discord:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Spotted on Twitch:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Funny Ozempic quotes

Funny Ozempic quotes are taking the internet by storm, bringing laughter to those navigating their health journey! 😂💉 Whether you’re a user, curious, or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to the Ozempic experience. From playful puns to relatable moments, get ready to smile and share some lighthearted fun that makes managing wellness a little less serious! 😄✨ #OzempicLaughs

New funny Ozempic quotes 👇

All funny Ozempic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Discord this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Breaking via WeChat:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Live now on Telegram:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Just landed via Twitch:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Just shared via Threads:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

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