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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

7 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Just shared via Facebook:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Going viral on Slack:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just landed via Threads:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Going viral on X:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just shared via Slack:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Home » Funny Ozempic Quotes

Funny Ozempic quotes

New funny Ozempic quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Commentary:
Oh no, your bank account has been slimming down like it's on a weight loss medication! 💸💊 Looks like it's in for a bit of a financial detox! 😂 #BankAccountGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️

For even more funny Ozempic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Ozempic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

7 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Reported on Reddit:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Just landed via X:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Just landed via Twitch:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Making waves on Instagram:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

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