Commentary:
"Blame it on the dad and run 🏃♂️🍦! Classic move, parents 😆 #IceCreamGate"
393 Funny parenting quotes
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
Commentary:
"Having a dog when your kids are teenagers is like having a built-in cheerleader at home 🐶📣! At least someone will wag their tail and greet you with excitement when you walk through the door! Parenting win! 😂"
Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.
Commentary:
Beware: after today's stingray lesson, the living room is officially a no-swim zone! 🏊♂️➡️🚫🤣
I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.
Commentary:
Chic, but with twice the sassiness in one fabulous package! 👠👧💁♀️
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.
Commentary:
Toddlers have life goals figured out: sleep like a cat, eat like a king, and rebel like a rockstar! 😴🍝🤘
No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.
Commentary:
That soccer bag smell could clear a stadium faster than a goal! 🥅👃💨
The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.
Commentary:
Looks like we need a "grown-up supervision" feature for adults too! 🤦♂️😂 #AdultingFail
I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just following the parental payback plan! 💸😆👶
I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.
Commentary:
Once upon a time, bedtime was a penalty box; now it's the holy grail of adulthood 🛌🔍😂
In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.
Commentary:
When the birds and bees get drunk, even storks make questionable flight plans 😂🍼