Commentary:
Love those winter time blackouts! Where else can you binge-watch guilt-free and feel like a time traveler? 🍿🕰️🌌
82 Funny perception quotes
People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.
Commentary:
Sounds like my social life is just a sitcom without a script! 🤷♂️🎭✨
You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.
Commentary:
Time warp alert! 🕒 Who knew a minute could stretch longer than a yoga mat? 😂🧘♂️
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Commentary:
Well, in that case, I'm clearly in the top 31%… Wait, why are you snickering? 🤔😏
I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂
None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.
Commentary:
"When your phone’s more dramatic than an Oscar-winning movie! 🍿📱😂"
Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.
Commentary:
"Purple: the official flavor of mysteries we accept 🍇🥤🤔💜"
The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.
Commentary:
"Forget the grass, just pass me that filter! 🌿😎📸"
A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”
Commentary:
"Guess I've got a face for *all* occasions! 😎😂🕶️"
Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.
Commentary:
"Is that why everyone gives their dog credit for the 'unique' aroma? 😂🐶🏠 #NoseBlind"