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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I disagree with my politics.

Breaking via X:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Making waves on Reddit:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Breaking via Slack:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

15 Funny pocket quotes

More funny pocket quotes 👇

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

2 weeks ago

always, arm, carry, grocery, humor, i, keys, multitasking, one arm, pocket, struggle, wrong, wrong pocket
Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

2 weeks ago

experience, good, money, music, never, pain, pocket, song, spending, youth
Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

2 weeks ago

doll, funny request, humor, money, pants, playful, pocket, pop, put, quirky, request, voodoo, voodoo doll
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

3 weeks ago

doll, humor, joke, money, payment, please, pocket, put, superstition, voodoo, voodoo doll
Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

3 weeks ago

age, candy, humor, joke, just, old, old age, original, pocket, snack, werther’s, Werther’s Original

For even more funny pocket quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pocket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

79 shares on X this month:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

74 shares on Threads this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny pocket quotes

More funny pocket quotes 👇

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

All funny pocket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨