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92 Funny pun quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Commentary:
"Who knew geometry could be so romantic? 💞 When it comes to triangles, love is always acute angle! 😂💖"
5 months ago
Share →: Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Commentary:
"Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar… 🌟Looks like they didn't planet that way! 🪐😂✨"
5 months ago
Share →: Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Commentary:
"Elevators: the ultimate test of trust fall with a machine 🙈. Who needs an adrenaline rush when you can just take the stairs and sneak in a leg workout? 🚶‍♂️ #StairMaster"
5 months ago
Share →: Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Commentary:
📚🎨 Do you long for some peace and quiet in this noisy world? Look no further than "The Art of Silence" by the enigmatic Chinese philosopher Shut-Up! Let the wisdom of silence speak volumes to your soul… or maybe just shush those chatty inner voices! 😉 #ShhWisely
5 months ago
Share →: I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Commentary:
"Well, well, looks like someone's arches have been enlightened! 👟😂 Who knew orthopaedic shoes could kick in some humor along with support! 💁‍♂️ #StandUpForOrthopaedics"
5 months ago
Share →: If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious case of the poultrygeist! 👻🐔 Can you imagine a ghostly chicken haunting the dinner table of a vegetarian? Better watch out for those clucking spirits! 🍗😱"
5 months ago
Share →: My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Commentary:
"Well, would you look at that! A fully charged watch battery means it's time to tackle the day…or maybe just waste it scrolling through cat memes. 😂⌚️ #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Commentary:
Ahoy matey, setting sail with the tunes of "Aye of the Tiger" – the anthem for fierce swashbucklers everywhere! 🏴‍☠️🎶 Let's get those pirate spirits roaring like the king of the seven seas! 🦜⚓️ Keep rockin' and rollin' on the high seas, arrr! 🦁🌊 #PiratePlaylist #PirateLife
5 months ago
Share →: Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Commentary:
😄🚽 How about switching up the terminology to make your bathroom visits sound way more impressive? Who needs a John when you can casually mention you're off to the "Jim" for a daily workout session? Keep yourself healthy both physically and linguistically! 💪😉
5 months ago
Share →: Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Commentary:
"🎅🎄 Checking your elf is the ultimate holiday to-do list item! 📋 Don't let an elf oversight cause a shelf catastrophe – the stakes are high in Shelf Management this Christmas season! 🧝🧐 #ElfOnTheShelf #HolidayPrep"