Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,832

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Spotted on WeChat:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Spotted on Discord:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Making waves on Instagram:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Going viral on Slack:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Just landed via YouTube:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Home » Funny Riser Quotes

Funny riser quotes

Funny riser quotes are the perfect morning boost to kickstart your day with a smile 😂☀️ Whether you’re a coffee lover or a snooze button champion, these witty gems will have you laughing your way out of bed 🌞😴 Ready to turn those groggy mornings into giggle-filled moments? Let’s rise and shine with some humor that makes waking up just a little bit easier! 🌟✨

New funny riser quotes 👇

All funny riser quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

93 shares on Discord this month:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,990

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Just landed via X:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

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