Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,940

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Making waves on Discord:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Just landed via Discord:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Spotted on Reddit:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Trending via Threads:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Home » Funny Riser Quotes

Funny riser quotes

Funny riser quotes are the perfect morning boost to kickstart your day with a smile 😂☀️ Whether you’re a coffee lover or a snooze button champion, these witty gems will have you laughing your way out of bed 🌞😴 Ready to turn those groggy mornings into giggle-filled moments? Let’s rise and shine with some humor that makes waking up just a little bit easier! 🌟✨

New funny riser quotes 👇

All funny riser quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

51 shares on X this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

15 shares on Threads this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,946

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Going bananas on Discord:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Live now on TikTok:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Live now on Instagram:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Just landed via Twitch:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Just shared via Snapchat:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Just landed via TikTok:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

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