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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Just landed via Facebook:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Going viral on YouTube:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Funny rising quotes

Funny rising quotes are the perfect way to kickstart your day with a smile 😄☀️. Whether you’re crawling out of bed or chasing your morning coffee, these witty words will lift your spirits and boost your mood 🚀☕. Get ready to rise and shine with a dash of humor that turns groggy mornings into giggly moments! 😂🌅 #MorningVibes #RiseAndLaugh

New funny rising quotes 👇

All funny rising quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

40 shares on X this month:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Spreading quickly via Slack:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Just landed via Twitch:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Broadcasted on Discord:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

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