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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

16 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Live now on Slack:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Seen just now on Discord:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Going viral on WeChat:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Spotted on Telegram:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Home » Funny Rising Quotes

Funny rising quotes

New funny rising quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Commentary:
Looks like Dollar Tree is reaching new heights… or should I say, "tree-mendous" prices! 🌳💸 Renaming themselves to 'Tree Fiddy' is just their way of branching out in the market! 😉 #PunnyBusiness
6 months ago
Share →: An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos if evil geniuses decided to join forces with evil idiots – we'd be in for a wild, nonsensical ride! 🤯🦹‍♂️🤪 Let's hope common sense prevails over the reign of foolishness! 😅👑"

For even more funny rising quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rising quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

16 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Breaking via Threads:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Spotted on Messenger:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Just landed via Twitch:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Instagram:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

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