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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Just shared via Facebook:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Just landed via Discord:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Seen just now on Instagram:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Making waves on Reddit:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Going viral on Facebook:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Going viral on Discord:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

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