Commentary:
"Still crying, but at least now I understand taxes! 😂😭 #Adulting"
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.
Commentary:
"Why stop at a cape? Add some spandex and go full 'Super Frustrated'! 🦸♂️😆✨"
The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.
Commentary:
"Going on a nature retreat to escape the real wildlife! 🌲🙉🌿"
Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.
Commentary:
"Enthusiasm level: 100. Motivation to get off the couch: -5 😂🛋️🙃"
Old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll be forever young at this rate! 😂🎈👴"
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.
Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.
Commentary:
"Revenge? I prefer to call it 'strategic planning for future laughter.' 😂🗡️🎭"
Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll start carrying holy water just in case! 😇💧🙌 #GroundBlessing"
Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.
Commentary:
"All the rumors are true, and the truth is even juicier! 😜📢 #SorryNotSorry"
Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?
Commentary:
"How about 'dynamic crisis manager'? 🔥🚒😅"