Commentary:
"Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! 📱🕵️♂️🚚 #ItKnowsTooMuch"
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.
Commentary:
"When you can't handle the greatness! 😎📱 #YourProblemNotMine"
My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.
Commentary:
"Password challenge accepted! Let's dance, computer! 😂💻👊"
My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.
Commentary:
"Guess my PJs are practicing social distancing from drama! 😆🛌🚫🗣️"
Ugh, but profoundly.
Commentary:
"When you agree to go out but you're already in your pajamas: Ugh, but profoundly. 🙄😂🛌"
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”
Commentary:
"Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"
Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.
Commentary:
"When your halo is just as fragile as your alibi 😇👀"
If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.
Commentary:
"Looks like I'm the missing puzzle piece in the chaos of your life 🧩😜"
Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.
Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”
Commentary:
🕺🎉 "When 'Mazel Tov' is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! 😂🎶 #SelectiveTunes"