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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,225

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Going viral on TikTok:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Just landed via Threads:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Going bananas on X:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Just landed via Slack:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Live now on Twitch:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

11 Funny sight quotes

Funny sight quotes 👀 bring a hilarious twist to the way we see the world! Whether it’s about those awkward moments when your eyes play tricks or the quirky things we notice every day, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 😂. Perfect for brightening your feed or sharing with friends, get ready to see things from a funnier perspective — because sometimes, a good laugh is all you need! 🎉🤩

New funny sight quotes 👇

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

0

2 months ago

bedroom, creep, disappear, fear, humor, mind, sight, spider
I believe in annoyed at first sight.

0

2 months ago

annoyed, belief, believe, first sight, humor, i, love, relationship, sight
Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

0

2 months ago

built, casual, crush, dating, humor, i, intensity, love, only, romance, sight, soul, unfortunately
Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

0

2 months ago

camping, disappear, disappearing, fear, humor, inside, mind, never, sight, spider, surprise, tent, unexpected
Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

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2 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, cooking mishap, fail, funny moment, glasses, humiliation, i, just, kitchen, mishap, moment, sight, steam
Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bedroom, fear, humor, lost, mind, never, pest, sight, spider, unexpected
It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

0

2 months ago

good, humor, i, joke, media, never, offense, phone, phones, scent, sight, smelfie, social, social media, sound, thing, want
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

0

2 months ago

craving, donut, donuts, food, humor, mind, sight, temptation, work
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

0

2 months ago

humor, husband, i, irony, love, marriage, relationship, second, second look, sight

For even more funny sight quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

52 shares on YouTube this month:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

29 shares on X this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

68 shares on X this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Just landed via TikTok:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Just shared via X:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Just landed via Instagram:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

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