Commentary:
"Oh, so that’s your secret 'get out of jury duty free' card! 🃏🤣 Just make sure your alibi doesn't have WiFi! 📡🚫"
249 Funny situation quotes
No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.
Commentary:
"Those two people are the real bravehearts of clap wars! 👐😂👏"
Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.
Commentary:
"When your halo is just as fragile as your alibi 😇👀"
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.
Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"
Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.
Commentary:
"When multitasking means hiding the chin and changing the view! 🤠😂 #DoubleChinMagic"
Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.
Commentary:
"Guess my charm isn't appetizing, but at least the leftovers were! 🍽️😂 #DinnerWin"
You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.
…
Commentary:
"Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.
…
Commentary:
"Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"
Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?
…
Commentary:
"Oh great, the parking lot is hosting a reunion and my car wasn't invited! 🚗🙄🎉"
That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.
…
Commentary:
"That place is so exclusive, even its own crowd can't get in! 🎟️🚪😄"