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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Just shared via WeChat:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Reported on YouTube:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Shared recently on Slack:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Spotted on Discord:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Trending via Messenger:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

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