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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Spotted on Reddit:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Breaking via Threads:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Spotted on Discord:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Shared recently on Facebook:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Live now on Discord:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Fries, not lies.

Shared recently on WeChat:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Spotted on Snapchat:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Breaking via Messenger:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Trending via Facebook:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Reported on Snapchat:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Making waves on WeChat:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Making waves on Reddit:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Seen just now on X:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m bored, but not read a book for fun bored.

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