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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has downloaded:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has viewed:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Shared recently on X:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see β€œLikes” in my journal.

Spotted on Reddit:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Shared recently on X:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Funny unhappy quotes

Funny unhappy quotes bring a hilarious twist to those gloomy days πŸ˜†πŸŒ§οΈ, turning frowns upside down with witty vibes and sarcastic charm πŸ˜‚πŸ’¬. When life feels a bit meh, these clever lines remind us it’s okay to laugh at the blues 😜🎭. Ready for some chuckles that make sadness a little less serious? Let’s dive into the funniest way to say β€œI’m not thrilled” with a smile! 😎✨

New funny unhappy quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny unhappy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on X this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

16 shares on Discord this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has viewed:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has shared:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Instagram:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Trending via Twitch:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Making waves on Threads:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Just landed via X:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Just landed via WeChat:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Going bananas on X:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Just shared via X:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Just shared via Threads:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

β€œBluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

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