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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Teens be like, β€œYou know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has shared:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,091

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Snapchat:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just shared via Slack:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Going viral on X:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Going viral on Instagram:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Funny visiting quotes

Funny visiting quotes bring a splash of laughter πŸ˜‚ and unexpected wit to those moments when guests drop by unannounced or stay a bit too long πŸ•’. Whether it’s about awkward small talk, surprise visits, or quirky house rules 🏑, these playful gems will have you smirking and relating in no time. Ready to see visiting from a whole new, hilarious angle? Let the fun begin! πŸŽ‰πŸ€£

New funny visiting quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny visiting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Threads this month:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

68 shares on Discord this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

23 shares on X this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ludacris once said β€œIf you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of β€œunusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,861

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Threads:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, β€œYour guess is as good as mine.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Spotted on Discord:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Live now on WeChat:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Live now on TikTok:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Trending via X:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Going viral on Slack:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Breaking via Threads:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

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