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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Trending via Snapchat:

Social media is mental suicide.

Live now on YouTube:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Seen just now on TikTok:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Trending via TikTok:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Funny visiting quotes

Funny visiting quotes bring a splash of laughter 😂 and unexpected wit to those moments when guests drop by unannounced or stay a bit too long 🕒. Whether it’s about awkward small talk, surprise visits, or quirky house rules 🏡, these playful gems will have you smirking and relating in no time. Ready to see visiting from a whole new, hilarious angle? Let the fun begin! 🎉🤣

New funny visiting quotes 👇

All funny visiting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Just landed via X:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Breaking via Pinterest:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Spotted on Instagram:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Making waves on Twitch:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Trending via Instagram:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

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