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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Breaking via Messenger:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Live now on Threads:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Reported on Telegram:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Live now on YouTube:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Making waves on Telegram:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Trending via Discord:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Breaking via Reddit:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Trending via Slack:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

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