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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Spotted on YouTube:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Broadcasted on X:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Reported on Instagram:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going viral on Reddit:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Shared recently on X:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Breaking via WeChat:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I run a parody bank account.

Just shared via Facebook:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Trending via Telegram:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Going viral on X:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Just shared via X:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Just shared via X:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

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