Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.
  • Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.
  • If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.
  • She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”
  • Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.
  • The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.