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Commentary:
"Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"

birthday, celebration, everyone, exhaustion, happy, humor, i, joke, life, rest, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

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2 months ago

existential, humor, humor quote, just, life, point, self-deprecation, where
Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

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2 months ago

911, activity, calling, dancing, emergency, fine, fun, fun activity, humor, me, plea, stop
I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

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2 months ago

bread, food, friendship, garlic, humor, i, never
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

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2 months ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words
They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

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2 months ago

change, huge, humor, improvement, instant, instant payoff, invent, lifestyle, lifestyle change, motivation, payoff, self, self-improvement, should, small, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
Sane is boring.

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2 months ago

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

38 shares on X this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

23 shares on X this month:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

87 shares on Discord this month:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Live now on Snapchat:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on Discord:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Sane is boring.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨