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Commentary:
"Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"

birthday, celebration, everyone, exhaustion, happy, humor, i, joke, life, rest, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

0

2 months ago

cake, food, food name, humor, name, Paris, place, place name, responsible, rice, rice cake, Texas, wordplay
ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

0

2 months ago

AI, ChatGPT, companionship, ever, humor, i, man, me, relationship, support, think, ways
You are my favorite dirty thought.

0

2 months ago

affection, dirty, dirty thought, favorite, flirtation, humor, love, playful, relationship, thought
My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

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2 months ago

again, casual, casual wear, humor, job, me, office, office job, procrastination, sweatpants, want, wear, work
Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

0

3 months ago

cheese, comfort, comfort food, food, grilled, grilled cheese, healing, healing power, humor, never, power, sandwich, underestimate
If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

0

2 weeks ago

adversity, guy, humor, just, life, motivation, nobody, remember, right, sarcasm, struggle, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

10 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

27 shares on Threads this month:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Making waves on Discord:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Seen just now on Messenger:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Seen just now on Slack:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Breaking via YouTube:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨