Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Just shared via Twitch:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Trending via Pinterest:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your mind's in the gutter but your face is angelic enough to get away with it 😇🧠😈

blessing, contrast, dirty, dirty mind, face, having, humor, innocent, innocent face, mind, personality, truly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

0

1 month ago

disease, humor, i, irony, joke, perfect, self-confidence, skin, skin disease
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, laughter, life, positivity, short, short life, smile, still, teeth
Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

0

1 month ago

advice, best, financial, financial tips, funny advice, humor, joke, lay, laziness, money, money-saving, move, relaxation, saving, tips
Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

0

2 months ago

color, confusion, fruit, humor, logic, orange, question, wordplay
It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

0

1 month ago

April, day, internet, only, people, read, sad, stuff
If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

0

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, insult, joke, person, relationship, sarcasm, shit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

45 shares on X this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

11 shares on Discord this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Spotted on Reddit:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Spotted on TikTok:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Trending via TikTok:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on Telegram:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨